


Sleepwalking

by GabbyGums



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Pre-Slash, Slash, Sleepwalking, Touching, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-05-24 17:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6161524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabbyGums/pseuds/GabbyGums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are both prone to sleepwalking, and that means some things just happen during the night.</p><p>I present to you the last instalment in the <em>Sleepwalking</em> trilogy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepgroping

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to slashbabe for beta-reading this!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One night, Dan wakes up to something pressing thightly into his side.

Most nights, Dan didn’t sleep very well. It was either because he couldn’t go to sleep, woke up several times or had nightmares. Well, as he grew older and less afraid he wasn’t often concerned by the latter anymore (although he recently dreamed that he was eaten alive by a lion which, strangely enough, had Phil’s face). Having restless nights, however, continued to be a problem. He found that often he couldn’t make his brain shut up and let him go to sleep. It was worse when the existential crisis punched him in the face when he least expected it. Or when he had very, very late night Mario Kart battles with some guy from across the Atlantic.

That night, however, he was sound asleep. He had felt uncharacteristically tired in the evening and went to bed quite early. By the time his head had hit the pillow he had already been half asleep. He even had a very nice dream. Kanye had asked him whether he would consider recording an album with him! But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be a long night for him.

He woke up from the strange feeling of something pressing into his side. He was lying on his back, and for a fleeting moment he thought he was just lying too close to the wall. He then remembered that he wasn’t at his parents’ house, and that his bed wasn’t perched in a corner of his room anymore. He tried to turn around and just go back to sleep. He really wanted to know how his and Kanye’s voice would sound together. But something held him firmly in place. Dan groaned, turned his head, opened his eyes – and nearly had a heart attack.

He found himself nose to nose with someone who lay next to him, _in his bed_ , and had a firm grip on him, pinning him in place. For a moment Dan thought it was a burglar and wanted to scream. He wasn’t really sure why a burglar would make themselves comfortable in his bed, but this was the first thing his brain supplied. But then he could make out unruly black hair and the scent of minty shampoo and – Phil. Great.

He knew that Phil sometimes sleepwalked. Phil often went to bed earlier than Dan, and one night, when Dan had done some late-night editing and left his room to fetch some Ribena, he had found Phil standing in the hallway. He was facing the kitchen door, and Dan had thought Phil had ventured to get a drink as well. “Hey, you still up?” he had said. Phil had just slowly turned his head, eyes closed, regarding Dan with a blank expression. He then slowly walked past Dan and back into his room. Dan had been thoroughly shaken – seriously, that shit was creepy – and told Phil about it the next day. Phil had promised to lock his door at night from then on, and there had been no sleepwalking incident ever since.

Until that night.

Phil must have forgotten to lock the door. Dan turned his head and sighed. Phil had him in a near death grip. His whole body was pressed up to Dan’s side, one arm slung tightly over his chest and head resting next to Dan’s. From what he could make out, Phil was fast asleep, breathing softly and steadily. Dan had to admit, this hug, even if it was a bit tight, felt kinda nice. He considered just going back to sleep again, but he knew that this position would seem weird in the morning. He lightly touched the hand on his chest and whispered, “Phil, wake up! You’re in my bed.” Nothing happened. He tapped Phil’s hand. “Come on, wake up!” Still nothing. Dan was about to shake him when suddenly Phil grunted and shoved his knee between Dan’s legs. He did it with so much force that Dan thought he might kick him in the balls. Thankfully, Phil’s knee stayed beyond the critical area, but still Dan could feel his face heat up. Now he was thoroughly annoyed.

“Oy, you oath, stop that!” he said, louder, and grabbed Phil’s hand to shove it off, but apparently his friend would have none of it. Phil made an irritated sound and Dan could feel his knee riding up his thigh, forcing his legs to part wider. Dan was fully aware of the movement, Phil’s pyjama clothed knee scraping the inner side of his naked thigh, and damn, that was getting really dangerous. Dan knew this had to stop. He took a deep breath to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat when Phil began to stroke his hand up and down Dan’s chest. Dan let his hand fall to the mattress next to him and swallowed hard.

Shit. That felt a lot nicer than it should. But the worst part was that Dan suddenly felt like his boxers were too tight for him. Oh no. No no no! Just five minutes ago he had been fast asleep, dreaming of Kanye West and not wondering whether he had some clandestine feelings for his best friend and roommate – who was still asleep! How could a person touch someone like that while they were still asleep?! Dan made a mental note to google that, but for now he really needed to get Phil out of his bed. The thing was, he felt unable to move just an inch. While he contemplated what he should do, Phil kept stroking his chest slowly. Just when Dan thought how grateful he was that he had put on a t-shirt he gasped at the sudden explosion of sensation jolting through his body. Phil had somehow managed to find the hem of Dan’s t-shirt and wriggle his hand underneath it, continuing his lazy stroke, skimming his fingers over Dan’s left nipple. But what was even worse, he had moved forward and began to nose at Dan’s neck, humming softly. Dan couldn’t hold back the moan escaping his throat. He always told people that he hated his neck to be touched. The paradox was, however, that when he was aroused, his neck area became his absolute weak spot.

Dan’s brain became fuzzy, and he couldn’t remember why he had been so annoyed a moment ago. This felt so good. He revelled in the feeling of Phil’s hand sending electric jolts though his body and the hot breath ghosting over the skin of his neck. Something in the back of his brain began to scream that, “This is wrong, you have to stop it!” Another part of him screamed back “But it’s been so long!” Dan needed another moment to remember that he was currently lying in his bed _with his best friend_ enjoying illicit touching from said friend. Who was asleep, for fucks sake!

Dan managed to gather some shreds of sanity and shoved Phil off the bed with all his might, screaming “Phil, wake up!” With a thud and a gasp Phil landed on the floor. Dan sat up and looked down at Phil, who was sitting bolt upright and looking around wildly. “What happened?” he demanded, slightly panicked. ”You sleepwalked and climbed into my bed, you twat.” Phil blinked, and Dan sighed. “I kicked you out before you could smother me to death.” Phil looked at him, mouth slightly open, still confused. Dan was so grateful that it was too dark for him to see that he was blushing and sweating profusely. Phil was still staring at him, and Dan became annoyed. “Go to your own bed and lock the fucking door!” The swearing startled Phil, and he scrambled to his feet and ran out, slamming the door behind him. Tomorrow he would probably ignore Dan the whole day out of shame.

Dan starred at the closed door, then down at his crotch. Great. He was wide awake and had a hard on. _Thanks a lot, Phil._


	2. Sleepcuddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dan and Phil arrive at their hotel in Tokyo, Phil is horrified to discover that they have to share a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you a second chapter, and here it is! Hope you enjoy it :)

Phil stood on the threshold, keys in hand and gaping at the small room in front of him.

After what had felt like an eternity sitting in a seat that had not enough leg space for either him or Dan, and after a very confusing trip in a cab, they had finally arrived at their hotel in Tokyo. They had both been too exhausted to fully appreciate the strange new surroundings or the beauty of the lobby they arrived at. Up until this point the only thing Phil could think was _Bed. Now!_ He had fully intended to just flop onto his bed and sleep for a few hours, but when he had entered their hotel room, he sobered up very quickly.

The room was small, but had all the comforts one could wish for: a small glass table with two chairs, a flat screen telly, an ensuite bathroom (which, from what Phil could make out, was highly futuristic), and a small wardrobe. The wall facing him was completely made out of glass and one could see the busy streets below them. Even though Phil dearly loved big and numerous windows he couldn’t quite appreciate it, as his eyes were trained on the bed in the middle of the room. Yes, bed, singular. They were standing in a room with a single bed, which wasn’t big enough to hold both of them. Phil was sure it was meant to be a double bed, meant to hold two people, if the two towels wrapped intricately like swans and the rose petals were anything to go by. Phil felt the blood drain from his face.

“What are you doing standing around like a big tree?” Dan said in a whiny tone, poking Phil viciously in the back. “I want to sleep, get a move on!”

Phil yelped and jumped to the side, giving Dan a full view of the whole mess. Dan stepped inside and looked blearily around, until his gaze fell on the bed. He looked at it for a few seconds and Phil held his breath. “I didn’t have you down as a romantic, Phil,” he chuckled and moved closer to the bed, putting his suitcase down next to it.

Phil released his breath, fully stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Haha, you’re very funny.” He rolled his own suitcase over to the table and put it down. “I think they made a mistake.”

“Well, going by this little present I think we’re in the honeymoon suite.” Dan held up a little basket Phil hadn’t noticed before. Dan raised an eyebrow and gave Phil a mischievous smile. “I think this holds lube and some condoms.”

Phil spluttered and coughed violently. He was that kind of guy who chocked on his own saliva when he felt extremely uncomfortable. Dan just laughed at him (that bastard) and placed the little basket on the table. While Phil still tried to regain his breath, Dan flopped face down unto the bed and gave a very relieved sigh.

“Are you just going to sleep now? I don’t think we both fit in there.” Phil asked, still coughing, and stepped over to the bed. “Let’s go downstairs again and ask for another room.”  
“Can’t we do that tomorrow? I’m so tired,” Dan said, his voice slightly muffled by the bedding.

Phil sighed. “Fine, you stay here and I’ll go.”  
“Just lie down and sleep. I know you’re knackered too.” Dan waved a hand and wriggled over to one side of the bed. “Plenty space. Come on.”

Phil stiffened. He really was tired as hell, but he didn’t dare going to sleep right next to Dan.  
“No,” he said instead, turning around to leave the room. “I’ll be back in a minute, don’t move.”

As Phil closed the door behind him he couldn’t make out Dan’s muffled answer. He power walked down the corridor and pressed the key for the lift.

Now this was some disaster. Well, that’s how Phil perceived it anyway. Dan, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be bothered at all. Phil suddenly remembered the look the lady at the counter had given them when they received their keys. She had wished them a particularly happy stay and even winked at them. At that time, Phil didn’t think much of it, as he had been too tired, but now it was so obvious. She must have thought them to be a couple.

The lift arrived and he stepped inside, pressing the button for the ground level. The lift was entirely covered in mirrors, and Phil was forced to look at his very pale face and ruffled hair. He quickly smoothed out his fringe and turned around to face the doors.

Phil really hoped they could get another room. Well, they actually had booked a room with two beds, but there must have been a mix-up. He could easily share a room with his best friend, but the same bed…? He wasn’t so sure about that. Just because of that one night.

It hadn’t been too long ago and Phil couldn’t remember all of it, but it left a very uneasy feeling in his gut ever since. Phil remembered having some very naughty dreams, but instead of waking up in his own bed he woke up being forcefully ejected unto Dan’s bedroom floor. Dan had at that time told him he had kicked out Phil immediately and that nothing happened, but Phil wasn’t all too sure. Of course, he couldn’t remember anything specific, but he was sure something more had happened. Something he was deeply ashamed of.

He and Dan handled the situation quite well: they both ignored the topic and never spoke of it ever again. Phil had locked his room from then on and it seemed like they could just forget everything.

He had been a bit queasy about the trip to Tokyo, as Dan insisted on getting a room together. Phil knew that Dan had always been scared of unknown surroundings and didn’t want to be alone. And Phil couldn’t reject Dan that comfort, even though none of them would actually admit to it. But he had taken precautions and got himself some sleeping pills. He had had to pester his GP for quite a while, but she had eventually given in after Phil had lied about almost accidentally sleepwalking out into the streets. Phil had read somewhere that sleeping pills would help him to have a deeper sleep, and a deeper sleep meant that he wouldn’t sleepwalk, and hopefully not do something inappropriate…

If Dan were to hear about Phil’s reservations, he would probably laugh and say, “What’s the difference between sleeping in one bed or in different ones? Sleepwalking is sleepwalking!” Phil knew that there was no difference; if he sleepwalked, he could easily sleepwalk from one bed to another. Well, if Phil was being honest with himself – and he rarely was these days after _the incident_ – he just didn’t want to share a bed with Dan. Things might…happen. He just didn’t trust himself anymore.

He and Dan had been very touchy at the beginning of their friendship, but Phil had quickly realized that he had to stop if he didn’t want to lose Dan as a friend. And he couldn’t risk that in a million years.

Phil violently shook his head to get rid of his train of thought, but instantly regretted it as the motion made him feel slightly dizzy. 

The doors of the lift opened with a soft swishing sound, and Phil forced is aching legs to stride over to the counter, where the winky-lady was sitting and smiling widely at him.

***

Thirty minutes later Phil re-entered the lift, angry and flustered and with a futon mattress rolled up under his arm and two coupons for the hotel’s restaurant. It had taken him ten minutes to communicate to Mimi (as he learned was the name of the inappropriately winking woman) that he and Dan had actually booked a room with two beds, not the honeymoon suite. As soon as she realised the error, she apologized for at least ten more minutes, bowing up and down vigorously before she actually got to work to handle the issue. At that point Phil was thoroughly annoyed and ready to snap at her. He wasn’t normally that jumpy, but he was just so exhausted and aching everywhere, he really didn’t want to deal with this right now. But Mimi had bad news for him. There was currently no other room available, and they both had to wait until the next day to get another room. 

“Hontouni gomen nasai!” she squeaked and bopped her head so hard Phil thought she might hit it onto the counter. “I mean, sorry, mister! It is all my fault! I am so sorry!” Phil really had enough of her apologizing and waved a hand. He just had to deal with it, apparently.

“It’s fine, we will move tomorrow then.” He had already started to leave for the lift again but Mimi stopped him. “Wait, mister! Take this!” She rummaged around in one of the drawers and offered him two shiny gold tickets. “For our restaurant! Please take them as an apology!” Phil took them but before he could thank her, she said, “Do you wish to take a futon with you? You can sleep on it if you feel uncomfortable in one bed.” Her cheeks slightly pinked. “It is very comfortable, I assure you!” And she buzzled off into an adjoining room. Phil had no other choice than to wait and accept the big, fluffy white mattress she offered him, and with another stammered “I am sorry, mister!” he took off back to his room.

_Great._ Phil thought. _That’s just really great. I hope I can get to sleep tonight._ With tired eyes he fumbled with the keys and opened the door of their room. He was greeted by Dan’s form cocooned into the bedsheets. Dan had swept the rose petals unceremoniously unto the floor, but as Phil closed the door he noticed that the towel swans had been carefully placed on the table. Dan had even managed to get out of his clothes and neatly fold them on one of the chairs. Phil could only make out the top of Dan’s head beneath all the covers, but he assumed that he was facing away from him and fast asleep. He quietly set down the tickets, keys and futon and tiptoed over to the wardrobe in search for additional bedding.

“So, what did they say?” Phil jumped when he heard Dan’s muffled voice. He turned around and looked at Dan, who had his eyes closed but seemed to move beneath the covers.

“Well, there was a mix-up, but we have to stay in here until tomorrow. There is no other room available until then.” Dan cracked one eye open, and Phil pointed at the table. “They gave us vouchers for their restaurant, and I have a futon to sleep on now.” He nodded to the floor.

Dan opened both of his eyes and gave Phil an amused look. “Do you really want to sleep on the floor?” Phil looked down at his feet. “Mimi said that the futon is very comfy.” “Mimi?” “The winky-lady.” Dan raised his eyebrows. “Winky…? Okay, whatever. Come over here you idiot.”

Dan unravelled himself from the sheets and moved over to the other side of the bed. Phil just stared at him. Dan rolled his eyes. “Come on, this bed is bigger than it looks. You don’t want to sleep on the floor and neither do I.” He gave Phil a side glance. “Don’t worry, I’m wearing pyjamas.” When Phil still didn’t move, Dan sighed and said, “Well, suit yourself, I’m going to sleep now.” And he rolled over, facing away from Phil and went silent.

Phil continued to stare at the back of Dan’s head for another five minutes before he decided to screw it – screw his reservations, screw everything, he was just too tired to care anymore. He quickly changed into his PJs and slipped under the covers. He still felt a bit queasy, but Dan’s steady breathing was strangely soothing, and before Phil could remember that he forgot to take his pills, he was fast asleep.

***

Phil woke from his dreamless slumber when he heard a strange sound. He blearily opened his eyes and panicked for a second because of the unknown surroundings. Then he remembered where he was – Tokyo, honeymoon suite. He blinked at the ceiling, on which lights from the streets below danced around in strange shapes. Then there was the sound again. Phil’s heart beat heavily in his chest. He felt disoriented and scared, and he instinctively turned around to where he knew Dan lay. When his eyes fell on Dan’s face right next to his he realised that Dan was moaning. His face was contorted in pain, and his hands were twisted tightly into his pillow.

Phil’s eyes widened. He had often shared a room with his best friend, but he had never seen him crying in his sleep. Phil immediately decided that it was best to wake Dan. He put his hand gently to Dan’s shoulder and whispered, “Dan, wake up! It’s just a dream!” But Dan just continued to whine. Phil gently shook him. “Wake up!” 

Dan tightened his grip on the pillow, and Phil could see that tears where running down his face. Phil’s heart leapt in pain. He felt a sudden surge of deep compassion flash through him, but at the same time he felt like he had intruded on something very private and that he shouldn’t be in this room right now. He had seen Dan during his down times, but he had never seen Dan cry before. This picture of his best friend in pain hit a particular spot, and before he could think about it he had wrapped his arms around Dan.

“It’s fine, I’m here,” he said through Dan’s sobs. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Suddenly, Dan went completely still. For a wild moment, Phil feared that Dan might have woken up and was now frozen due to the shock of waking in his best friend’s arms for no apparent reason. But then, Dan gave a heavy sigh, his breath ghosting over Phil’s neck, giving him goosebumps all over his neck and travelling down his arms. Dan released his grip on the pillow, wrapped his arms tightly around Phil, and nuzzeled his face into Phil’s neck.

Phil’s heart gave a tiny, happy leap. “See? Everything’s fine,” he whispered, tightening his grip around Dan’s waist and shoulders. This felt nice.

Soon, Dan was breathing steadily again, and Phil guessed that he was calm now. He believed that Dan never really woke up, and he thought of letting him go again. But what if it upset Dan? What if he had another nightmare? Phil couldn’t risk that – of course not.

And besides, he felt his own body relax. He had never felt so safe and content before, with Dan’s head tucked beneath Phil’s chin and snuggled against his body.

As Phil slowly drifted back into sleep, he vaguely wondered if this might be awkward in the morning, but he really couldn’t care that much.

Maybe they should keep this room after all.


	3. Sleepkissing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil ponder over the impact their sleepwalking-incidents have on each of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the idea for the last instalment of _Sleepwalking_ since I wrote the second chapter. And finally, here it is! I hope you enjoy it :)

If Dan was being honest, he had a hard time keeping his eyes on his computer. Every time he wasn’t paying attention to the task at hand, his gaze drifted, finding Phil sitting on his bed.

Phil had taken up residence on Dan’s bed ever since Dan had announced that he would edit the Japan video. Dan wasn’t sure whether it was for moral support or simply because Phil wanted to explain to Dan in detail how chickens mated.

Dan shuddered. He was still reeling a bit from that. He really could do with less knowledge about the mating habits of various animals. Phil, on the other hand, seemed to get a certain kind of enjoyment out of this which worried Dan at times.

Anyway, Dan really wished Phil would just stop being so damn distracting. Not that Phil had said anything in the past thirty minutes.

Dan caught himself staring again, and he quickly looked back at the screen. Why did Phil even have to be in the same room as Dan? Couldn’t he do his damn ‘research’ in the lounge? Or his own room?

Dan really wanted to get a move on with the Japan video. It had already been a week, and he had barely started on the rough edit. He looked at the timeline and sighed. He had only scratched the surface of the footage they had shot, and there was still so much to do.

The images on the screen started to blur, and Dan had to rub his eyes. He was getting nowhere today, he just knew it.

He shut the program. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. He stared at the blank screen, but soon his gaze wandered again.

Phil was sitting on Dan’s bed, cross-legged, his laptop propped up on his knees. A faint smile was playing on his lips. His eyes were glued to his own screen, his right hand tap-tap-tapping on the touchpad. Dan felt himself mirror Phil’s smile.

Ever since Phil had sleepwalked into Dan’s bed, Dan felt his eyes searching for Phil more often than was strictly necessary.

At first Dan had told himself that he was wary of Phil. Who knew what was going on in that head of his? And didn’t Freud say that dreams were the manifestation of the subconscious, telling more about a person’s fears and desires than anything else?

Didn’t that one night tell something very significant about Phil?

Dan wasn’t sure. While he was watching Phil like a hawk, his friend hadn’t acted any differently towards him – except for locking his bedroom door at night, for which Dan was eternally grateful.

Or maybe not.

Well, the problem was that Dan liked to know exactly where he stood. Having no more data on the subject than that one night, he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure about what was going on with Phil. And Phil seemed adamant not to talk about the matter whatsoever. Not that Dan was very keen on it, either.

But if Phil would have forgotten to lock his door just one time, maybe they would be on completely different terms right now.

But that didn’t happen. What happened, instead, was the cuddling-incident.

And Dan didn’t even want to take that into account. He couldn’t.

“Dan, come over here, you have to look at this!” Phil said. He didn’t look up from his laptop, but just waved his free hand frantically at Dan, beckoning him over.

Dan shook himself, shaking all the strange thoughts out of his head.

“If it’s another video on some mating rituals I’m gonna kick you out of my room.”

*

“No, it’s this really cute video of a dog cuddling a duck, you have to see it!”

Phil looked up from his laptop, giving Dan his most eager look. Dan looked at him with his most suffering look. Phil thought that Dan looked more tired these days. He certainly looked paler than usual.

Dan gave a heavy sigh and stood up. He shuffled over to the bed and let himself drop belly down on it. His head was barely level with Phil’s knees, but he didn’t show the slightest inclination to move any further. Lazy bugger.

Phil started the video and turned his laptop for Dan to see. It didn’t take long to turn that frown on Dan’s face into a genuine smile.

Phil knew that Dan was watching him. He knew that his best friend had just stared at him, and only stopped when Phil had the mercy to snap him out of his stupor.

Every time this happened, Phil could feel his skin prickle under Dan’s gaze. He liked to call it his baby-seal-sense. Phil thought this particular sense was his special superpower; he usually associated it with sensing snacks left unguarded anywhere around the flat. But of lately, every time Dan looked at him, he was acutely aware of it.

That particular part of this sense apparently took some time to develop. He certainly didn’t have it when they first met. But ever since _that incident_ (Phil really didn’t want to think about it at all) Phil became aware of Dan’s gaze.

Dan’s gaze searched for him when they were sitting on the couch in their browsing positions. Dan turned to look at Phil more often in their videos. Phil could feel Dan’s gaze burning into the back of his head anytime he faced away from Dan.

It got to a point where Phil had trouble concentrating on anything he was doing, which was mostly apparent when it came to their book. He still needed to finish the chapter on his high school years and find more words for his A-Z. (But U really was a difficult letter!)

Phil had intended to finally finish both of them that very night. However, sitting alone in his bedroom just lead to him looking at hamster pics on tumblr. When Dan had announced that he would work on their Japan video, he had instantly hopped off his bed and followed Dan into his room. He had hoped that they could both be productive. Shared creativity is double the creativity. That’s the principle Phil had always lived by.

He had not, not even for a moment, thought about how Dan’s not-so-secret staring gave him goose bumps all over his arms and neck. Not once, nope.

And he certainly didn’t test Dan’s limits and find out when he would snap. That would just be cruel.

But he did wonder.

Ever since they both woke up in Japan, in the same bed, Phil’s baby-seal-senses seemed to have reached the peak of their development. The tingles just got more intense, and he himself got too aware of Dan’s proximity every time they were in the same room.

It was distracting. Ever since Phil had squirmed out of Dan’s sleeping form in that stupid honeymoon suite, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something about Dan. Phil felt like he had to uncover something that was locked deep down in Dan’s mind, and maybe that would help them both move on.

But move on to what?

Phil kept watching Dan. He wondered whether Dan could feel the same strange prickly sensation when Phil watched him. Probably not.

“Cute,” Dan said when the video finished, then rolled unto his back and fished his phone out of his pocket.

Phil turned his laptop around and resumed his scrolling. He guessed that he would need another day to finish his A-Z.

*

Dan hadn’t been asleep when Phil gave a startled gasp in his arms. And he had certainly not been asleep when Phil had wriggled out of his grasp and hurried into the bathroom.

Dan had woken early that first morning in Japan. At first he didn’t think further about the warm, soft thing he held in his arms. He felt safe, and comfortable. It was nice. But as soon as the hazy sleep-fog lifted, his eyes snapped open and he stared, wide-eyed, at the black hair fanned out over his chest.

Dan had, to his horror, found that he was lying on his back, his arms wrapped tightly around his best friend, who was lying peacefully on his chest.

Dan didn’t dare to move. He frantically went through the events of the previous night. Had they both done something they might regret now? His eyes searched for the little basket on the table, but it seemed untouched. And he realised, to his utter relief, that they were both wearing their pyjamas. Dan thought that he probably would remember a wild night and afterglow cuddling, but you never knew with these stupid jetlags.

But what had happened? Dan mulled over everything he had said to Phil right before they went to bed. But the last thing he could remember was the slight dip when Phil finally decided to join Dan instead of sleeping on the floor.

They had never shared a bed before. Not even when Dan had visited Phil at home all those years ago. Not even when Dan had spent most of his time in Phil’s little apartment in Manchester.

When Dan had told Phil to get into bed, he hadn’t thought twice about it. It seemed natural. At least in his hazy jetlagged state. Now, looking down at Phil, he was painfully aware of his early morning hard-on. And then he remembered the sleep-groping incident.

He could feel his whole face turn red. He was glad Phil was still asleep.

Although, that could change rather quickly, as Dan realized that his heart was beating fast and hard against his ribcage and Phil was lying right on top of it; he might wake up any minute.

Dan could not face Phil like this, he really couldn’t, so he tried to calm himself down. His breathing had become ragged as well, and he made an effort to breathe slow and steady.

Dan cleared his mind, trying to think of nothing but his breathing. Soon, he calmed down enough to focus. He had to get out of bed somehow. But with Phil lying on top of him, this was going to be a challenge.

Dan looked down at Phil – or to be more precise, Phil’s hair. His black hair was slightly tousled from sleep, and the longer bits were fanned out over Dan’s t-shirt. Dan couldn’t see his face, but when he listened closely, he could hear Phil breathing. Dan could also feel each rise of Phil’s chest with every breath, his torso rising slightly under his hands.

Phil felt warm. And Dan couldn’t remember the last time he hugged someone like this. It felt...nice.

Dan realized that he could make out the smell of Phil’s hair. Cautiously, he took a deep breath. Phil’s hair smelled faintly of citrus fruit, probably his shampoo. But there was also something else, something that reminded Dan acutely of Phil. And home.

Dan noticed that Phil rested his left hand right next to Dan’s head; he must have missed it in his initial panic. He turned his head. Phil’s fingers were slightly curled into themselves. Dan inched forward and touched them with his nose. He closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply.

Then Phil moved. Dan snapped his eyes open.

Phil was waking up. And Dan could not deal with this right now.

He closed his eyes again and feigned sleep. He felt Phil move under his grasp; he heard the surprised intake of breath; then Phil was smoothly wriggling out of Dan’s grasp, and Dan was left alone in the bed while Phil ran into the bathroom.

Dan had pretended to have woken up while Phil had been in the shower. They both believed the lie. They both changed the room that morning and had breakfast in their new room with two double sized beds. They carried on as usual.

Except that Dan could not carry on as usual. Ever since that morning Dan had felt that yearning in his chest. At first, he hadn’t acknowledged it. He had ascribed it to his ever ongoing existential crisis. But he had soon realized that this yearning was only apparent when Phil was around.

He had tried to keep his distance from Phil, but right at that moment, when he was lying next to Phil on the bed, watching that silly video that didn’t register in his brain, he was only aware of Phil’s knee right next to him. He had that sudden urge to nuzzle his face against it.

He knew he was doomed. He should have known that morning, when he had woken up with Phil in his arms and the feeling that this was home.

He couldn’t pretend anymore.

He knew there was more to his staring at Phil than he would have admitted to himself. He had known all along. He didn’t know why right at that moment, that silly moment where Phil showed him a video, that realization hit him like an ocean wave crashing over him. It became all clear to him.

It was the worst possible thing that could have happened.

As soon as the video finished, Dan turned unto his back, as far away from Phil as possible at that moment, quenching the need to run out into the streets, screaming, and fished his phone out of his pocket just to have something to do with his hands.

He opened his tumblr feed. He scrolled through it, without seeing anything. His mind was reeling.

_Well, fuck,_ he thought.

*

Phil couldn’t help glancing over at Dan for what felt like the millionth time. Dan was scrolling through his phone, but somehow Phil couldn’t shake the feeling that Dan wasn’t really paying attention. He seemed…off.

But if Phil were honest with himself, he didn’t feel quite right, too.

It was all because of that damn cuddling incident.

Phil hadn’t given it a second thought when he had enveloped Dan into a hug, when he tried to give his friend some comfort during his night terrors. However, as soon as Phil had woken up, lying on top of Dan who had his arms tightly around him, he had quickly second-guessed that decision from the night before.

He hadn’t been surprised. He had known what he had gotten himself into when he fell asleep with Dan in his arms. However, he hadn’t thought about the day after.

When he woke up, Dan was still asleep. His chest was rising and falling softly. Phil had been lying there for a second with his eyes wide open, his mind blank. And then he was aware of the hands on his back, and the soft tickling of Dan’s breath on his neck, and the faint but unmistakable smell that was just Dan, and home, and safety.

Phil felt his eyes droop slightly. He wasn’t that tired, but he felt so comfortable…

His eyes snapped open, and he wriggled, as carefully as possible, out of Dan’s grip and hurried over to the bathroom.

Phil wasn’t sure if Dan ever suspected something strange happened that night. At least he never mentioned anything. And since that incident, they had carried on as normal.

At least they pretended to.

At least Phil pretended to.

Ever since that morning, Phil couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness. Not that he felt lonely because he didn’t have friends; he didn’t long for other people. He just couldn’t stand being anywhere for too long without Dan being somewhere in his immediate vicinity.

Phil did like to spent time in his own room alone. Sometimes a man needed some privacy. And sometimes he needed some time to recharge before he met other people.

But then there was Dan. And with Dan, there was no time when he felt crowded. When Dan was in the same room, Phil felt more relaxed than when he was on his own.

When Dan was in the room, Phil felt complete.

Phil caught his breath. He tore his eyes away from his screen. He hadn’t really registered anything on it for the past ten minutes anyway. He glanced over at Dan again.

Dan was still lying on his back, phone in one hand and scrolling with the other. Phil let his gaze wander over Dan’s profile; over his slightly mussed hair; over the sharp line of his jaw; over the slender fingers; down the length of his torso.

Phil really wished sometimes that he had someone to hold unto during the night. Phil wished that he had Dan to hold unto during the night.

Realisation washed over him. Phil felt like someone had just pointed out the most obvious answer to all the questions he’s ever had. He would have mentally slapped himself on the forehead and gone Of course! if this had been _Who wants to be a millionaire_.

But this was Dan. And Phil was sitting there, right next to him, realising for the first time, that he could not live without this dork.

It was the first time that Phil’s thoughts coherently formed around this idea. However, he wasn’t surprised so much as thinking that, honestly, he should have seen it coming.

So Phil sat there, starring at his best friend, and he didn’t know what to do.

He quickly averted his eyes and looked back at the screen. The little battery blinked alarmingly. He completely forgot to charge his laptop, and he didn’t bring his charger with him. He also didn’t feel like asking Dan to borrow his. He couldn’t talk to him right now, not after what he had just discovered. But Phil also really didn't want to leave the room. He put his laptop on the desk next to the bed and took out his own phone.

He didn’t really know what to do, but he could not, under any circumstances, stare at is best friend for the next ten hours. Even though he wanted to do that more than anything else right now.

He managed to open tumblr and scroll through his feed. He was constantly aware of Dan’s presence at his side, his skin prickling up and down where they almost touched.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like this; lying on Dan’s bed, side by side, ignoring each other completely while scrolling through meaningless stuff on the internet.

Phil felt like it must have been hours, because his eyes felt heavy. He let his phone plunk down on his chest. He would just rest his eyes for a moment. He felt so safe and warm, and he felt so damn tired.

And Dan would be there by his side…

*

The battery on Dan’s phone was nearly empty. But he was too lazy to get up and walk over to the lounge where he knew he left the charger in the morning. He dropped his phone on the small table right next to him.

Phil hadn’t said anything for a while. Well, to be fair, he himself hadn’t been that chatty either. He didn’t really know what to say, anyway. Not after that discovery.

He still felt kinda shaky. And somewhat uncomfortable lying here, on his own bed, right next to Phil. He had considered just leaving, but this was his own room after all, and it was too late to do anything else besides maybe play some video games. But for once in his life, he really didn’t feel like kicking some butt on Mario Kart.

He suddenly realized that without his phone, there was no excuse to lie here and ignore Phil. But he didn’t feel like he had the courage to actually talk to Phil right now. He turned his eyes as far as they would go in their sockets without having to move his head, and gave Phil a sidelong glance.

Phil was asleep. His phone was lying on his chest, his left hand on top of it.

Dan pushed himself up into a sitting position and gazed at the figure beside him. Phil’s face was peaceful, his black hair falling into his eyes. Dan wondered if it really was as soft as it looked like, and he had the sudden urge to thread his fingers through it.

How strange it was. One day, they were best friends, watching anime together in the morning, screaming at the telly while playing games, or having intense and very serious conversations about the most ridiculous topics.

They next day, Dan felt that there was so much more that they hadn’t explored yet, and somehow he should have known that this whole thing would have led up to this point. It had been inevitable.

He gazed down at Phil, at his sleeping form, how his chest rose with every breath he took, and Dan felt his heart ache, and he couldn’t help the words escape his mouth, spoken into the dead silence of his room. He whispered, but the impact of the words made them sound ten times louder.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Then why don’t you?”

Phil’s eyes fluttered open.

Dan stared down at him with wide eyes. Phil stared back.

Dan didn’t know for how long they looked at each other, neither saying anything, neither breaking eye contact.

Dan was too stunned. He was torn between what had shocked him more. The fact that Phil had only pretended to be asleep, or that Phil actually encouraged him to go through with it.

He briefly considered that Phil was only joking. But no. There was something in Phil’s eyes; and intensity that was so different and yet strangely familiar that Dan was sure Phil wholeheartedly meant what he had said.

He gulped. Phil was obviously waiting for him to do something, or at least say something. Dan could have brushed it off as not meaning it like that, and they could go to their separate beds and never talk about it again. Phil would give him that. Phil wouldn’t argue with him over that, even though they both knew, right at this moment, that the air between them had changed significantly, and probably permanently. Phil was that kind of friend who would not fight Dan over the decisions he made.

But Dan knew that this was a decision he couldn’t make alone. And he owed it to Phil to make the right one.

He gulped again. And made a decision.

He gathered all the courage left in him and turned towards Phil, placing both his hands on either side of his head and leaned over him.

Phil’s eyes widened. Not because he was scared. Dan could clearly see the anticipation in there. It was written all over his face. Dan was sure that his own face mirrored that.

Then Phil closed his eyes.

Before he could think too much on it Dan quickly leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Phil’s lips.

It was short. It was sweet. Phil’s lips were surprisingly soft. But the thought that stood out on Dan’s mind was that this, right here and now, felt as natural as breathing.

Dan had immediately pulled away again, far enough to look into Phil’s eyes, which had fluttered open again. He stared up at Dan like he was the most amazing thing in the world, and Dan smiled.

Phil smiled, too, and it was radiant.

And before he knew it Phil had grabbed the back of Dan’s neck and pulled him down again for a second kiss.

This one was just as sweet, chaste even; but then Phil moved his mouth against Dan’s, deepening the kiss. When Dan licked Phil’s lower lip and Phil opened his mouth, their kiss became more heated.

And soon, their kisses switched from sweet to deep, from needy to chaste; they only briefly separated to gulp for air. Phil hummed contentedly when Dan took his lower lip between his teeth, and it sent goose bumps down his spine right down to his toes.

Soon, Phil had his other hand on Dan’s hip, right at that sliver of skin exposed between his t-shirt and sweatpants. Dan had the fingers of his right hand thread through Phil’s hair and he wasn’t surprised to find that it was just as soft as it looked.

Soon, Dan couldn’t hold himself up on one arm anymore; Phil hadn’t hesitated to pull Dan flush against himself.

They lay right on top of each other, kissing like they had to make up for the years they had lost not doing so. Dan had the fleeting thought that there were definitely way too many clothes between them, but he did not have the patience to separate his mouth from Phil’s for even one second to change this. Phil didn’t seem to do so, either. But he did sneak his hand up Dan’s shirt, his long fingers splayed over his lower back.

Dan wanted to stay like this forever.

And he fully intended to do so.

*

At some point, their kisses turned into little pecks and nibs. Eventually, Dan lay down beside Phil, his head resting on Phil’s chest. Phil had one arm around him; Dan had his hand over Phil’s free arm, the fingers of Phil’s hand touching Dan’s lips.

They were both fast asleep, lying on top of the covers and still very much dressed. They had forgotten to turn off the lights.

They both slept well that night.


End file.
